Unhooking

Have you ever noticed that emotional turmoil often starts with a tiny spark? It could be a fleeting thought, a sound, or a sight that makes us feel either comfortable or uncomfortable. This is what is referred to as shenpa—the gentle hook that pulls us in.

Think of it like this: it's akin to wanting to scratch an itch. There's a pull, an energetic nudge, that immediately prompts a reaction. And the magic is, we don’t need to be seasoned meditators to catch this initial tug of "for" or "against." The key here is to remain as steady as a log when feeling that initial pull. Just be with the feeling, experience it fully, and resist the urge to feed that spark with more thoughts. It's all about embracing the restlessness of that energy without getting caught up in it.

By staying present with the rawness of our direct experience, emotional energy can flow without taking us over.

Remaining steady is not a walk in the park—it takes practice. But with time and dedication, we can become more adept at weathering mental and emotional storms.

So, the next time that initial tug is felt, remember to breathe, relax, and embrace the rawness. Because it’s in those moments of stillness and presence that true strength and resilience are found.

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Regrets and Apologies

Ever come across a person who claims to have no regrets or doesn't believe it's necessary to apologise for the harm they have caused?

An egotistical delusional attachment to a sense of self or ideas about how things should be can put us in this problematic mind state. A state in which we’re likely to shirk responsibility and attribute blame to others or situational factors to protect our narrow viewpoint.

As we grow up and move through relationships causing some upset is likely, but rather than seeing this as something that is okay and the people we hurt as collateral damage, we should always do our best to make amends and, whenever possible, apologise.

An apology shows that we have considered the person and the situation and have recognised and taken responsibility for the part we played. This attention and desire to communicate remorse can heal us and the others involved.

Our regrets become the fuel which, when ignited, moves us to become better, to see that our thoughts, words and actions impact others and have consequences. With understanding, we can behave compassionately.

I have many regrets relating to poor choices I have made; most of these were due to ego, misunderstanding and delusional ideas - I have regularly behaved selfishly and carelessly.

I am so sorry to all the people I have caused upset to, knowingly and unknowingly, and I am doing my best to behave with mindful awareness, compassion and kindness to limit the harm I do as I continue to live.

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The Four Reminders

It’s handy to have a reminder from time to time, listen, be kind, don’t break the speed limit, etc. But what if there were Four Reminders that could fundametally change how we experience our lives, making us more appreciative and grateful for everything we go through?

Here are those reminders.

We are fortunate to have a Precious Human Existence. Considering just how massive the universe, or potential multiverse, is, it’s miraculous that we’re even here on Earth experiencing a human life. Therefore we might want to make the most of it.

Everything in the known universe, at least as I write this, is changing. Scientists so far haven’t identified a single thing with any lasting permanent state. Impermanence means that anything, at any time, could cease to exist or change beyond recognition. Perhaps we should value the time we have and not waste it.

What we think, say and do impacts the world around us. The reminder of Karma tells us that our actions have consequences, and our lives result from how we relate to what we experience. In creating our reality, it might be worth paying close attention to what we’re thinking, saying and doing so we truly understand the impact we’re having on the world around us, near and far.

Finally, it is possible to get caught up in the cyclical suffering of Samsara. Whether it be destructive thought patterns or behaviours, it’s easy to learn or adopt ways of being that aren’t conducive to our happiness or the happiness of others. We inherit many traits from our parents or the people we grew up with, our friends and societies. We should seek to recognise harmful patterns so that instead of going round in circles, we can move forward and away from whatever might be holding us back.

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Got the poison or the remedy? The Three Poisons or Kleshas.

As human beings, we all experience three primary afflictive mental states; in Tibetan Buddhism, these are known as the Kleshas, or 'Three Poisons'.

The first is delusion or ignorance, more softly described as misunderstanding. Our misunderstanding comes in the form of dualistic ways of observing the world around us. We can quickly categorise things as good or bad, black or white, square or circular. When this happens, we overlook the intricacies and complexities of whatever we are observing. We may fail to see that all phenomena comprise a wide range of different attributes that are constantly changing. This delusional way of seeing things puts us in a fixed or rigid mind state, one that's closed to the vast array of factors that make up every single moment.

Secondly, we have attachment, also referred to as greed or grasping. In this state we may try to obtain or hold on to what we desire or have categorised as being good or valuable. Our grasping to gather these things can become a struggle, and we feel disappointed and suffer when we can't get what we want. We get stressed trying to hold on to what we like, and when we lose what we love, we experience suffering.

The third poison is aversion, also referred to as anger or hatred. It can cause us to attempt to manage or get rid of what we dislike. Some of us try very hard to create a life that avoids everything we despise, find difficult, unpleasant or challenging. Our aversion again causes us to struggle because, of course, not everything in our external environment can be managed and is constantly changing. The nature of our existence is that we are interconnected. Humans attempt to create separation by building social and physical constructions, like walls and borders, to keep out the people we feel afraid of or dislike. These mental or physical barriers represent our fear and ignorance and our inner struggle with aversion/hatred.

Now we know what these poisons are, we can seek to recognise them when they pop up in our thinking. Some of them may be heavily ingrained; our ignorance, attachment or aversion may lead us to respond habitually at times before we even realise what's happening. Under examination, we might find that some of our behaviour is not just making us feel bad; it may harm other beings and our environment. Perhaps we’re hasty to make superficial judgements, want more than we need or harbour prejudices.

Albert Einstein said, 'the measure of intelligence is the ability to change'. No matter how deeply ingrained our thinking and behaviour is, change is always possible. We can build a relationship with our minds that gives us more control over our responses to thoughts and emotions. When we become more capable, we can pause and then respond more peacefully, rationally, and logically, carefully choosing our words and actions.

Try regularly asking yourself, 'why am I thinking this? What am I feeling? and how will I respond?' Maybe try to identify if your thinking relates to one of these poisons. We are not our thoughts nor do we need to react to them.

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Dhyana - meditation

In Tibetan Buddhism, Dhyana, the meditation practice, is the fifth in a series of 'Six Perfections' or Paramitas. These perfections or 'noble behaviours' allow us to move from a place where we struggle through misunderstanding, attachment and aversion, to another location in which we're aware, free from the suffering caused by these three poisonous states. The literal translation of Paramita is to cross over to the other shore.

Much mysticism surrounds meditation, and it can appear inaccessible. It shouldn't be; everyone can meditate. There are three elementary stages to use while meditating:

Stage 1: focusing on something - for example, the breath

Stage 2: noticing when the mind wanders - without criticism or judgment, this stage provides us with the opportunity to meditate

Stage 3: returning - to our initial focus point.

When we repeat these stages, consistently starting over each time, we notice the mind spreading out, telling stories, judging and creating narrative - we reinforce our ability to gently bring the mind back from its wandering. We develop the habit of seeing each moment clearly without the extra layers our minds tend to add - preconceived ideas, judgements and prejudices.

A commonly discussed meditation aspect is vipashyana, or vipassana, as we often hear it referred to in the west. Vipashyana, or 'looking deeply', is vital as it allows us to develop insight into our afflictions. But shamatha, the aspect of 'pausing' is critical. We need to pause, step back from being swept along by our thoughts and feelings, to experience insight with clarity.

The Yoga practice is moving meditation. Its postures (the strange shapes we make) challenge our bodies and minds and give us a rich opportunity to experience some of our embedded patterns of thought and behaviour. During practice the mind chatters away, we might hear a critical inner voice, doubt, fears, and pride. We can also experience bliss, focused attention and greater awareness, moments of space between the thoughts, and ability not to react when things are tough, and insight into impermanence.

We don't need to sit for hours at a time to begin developing the ability to pause and find insight. Starting by simply checking in with where thoughts are taking us a few times a day and merely returning to our initial point of focus is a significant first step. Another is to pay attention to the words we use when describing what we're experiencing; words are our mantras 'mind tools', shaping our experiences. 

Perhaps the best way to start bringing meditation into our lives is to acknowledge that we can always begin again. Every moment is another opportunity to start over, to try again.

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Awareness and liberation

The purpose of Yoga is to liberate ourselves from suffering. Liberation from our inner struggles with pride, attachment, hatred, jealousy and ignorance through awareness of the power of our thoughts, words and actions. Awareness enables us to relate to everything around us in a healthier manner, we become less likely to engage in harmful behaviours.

Without awareness we’re blind to the ways we might be contributing to oppression and abuse. We may unknowingly be participating in ingrained behaviours and highly developed systems of oppression - domestic abuse, racism, classism, sexism, animal exploitation, bullying, conflict and environmental devastation.

How we relate on a individual level impacts how we behave as groups and nations. 

How do we treat the most vulnerable? How do we treat those without a voice? If we could see ourselves in others would we relate to them in the ways we do? If we can live without hurting others why wouldn’t we choose to do so?

Below is the introduction from the film Earthlings narrated by Joaquin Phoenix. It shows ways we currently treat other sentient beings, which many of us are unaware of, and it might just be the most important film ever.

THE THREE STAGES OF TRUTH:

1. RIDICULE

2. VIOLENT OPPOSITION

3. ACCEPTANCE

earth’ling: n. One who inhabits of the earth.

Since we all inhabit the earth, all of us are considered earthlings. There is no sexism, no racism or speciesism in the term earthling. It encompasses each and every one of us: warm or cold blooded, mammal, vertebrate or invertebrate, bird, reptile, amphibian, fish, and human alike.

Humans, therefore, being not the only species on the planet, share this world with millions of other living creatures, as we all evolve here together. 

However, it is the human earthling who tends to dominate the earth, often times treating other fellow earthlings and living beings as mere objects. This is what is meant by speciesism.

By analogy with racism and sexism, the term “speciesism” is a prejudice or attitude of bias in favour of the interests of members of one’s own species and against those of members of other species.

If a being suffers there can be no moral justification for refusing to take that suffering into consideration. No matter what the nature of the being, the principle of equality requires that one’s suffering can be counted equally with the like suffering of any other being.

Racists violate the principle of equality by giving greater right to the interests of members of their own race when there is a clash between their interests and the interests of those of another race.

Sexists violate the principle of equality by favouring the interests of their own sex.

Similarly, speciesists allow the interests of their own species to override the greater interests of members of other species.

In each case, the pattern is identical. Though among the members of the human family we recognise the moral imperative of respect (every human is a somebody, not a something), morally disrespectful treatment occurs when those who stand at the power end of a power relationship treat the less powerful as if they were mere objects.

  • The rapist does this to the victim of rape

  • The child molester to the child molested

  • The master to the slave.

In each and all such cases, humans who have power exploit those who lack it.

Might the same be true of how humans treat other animals, or other earthlings?

Undoubtedly there are differences, since humans and animals are not the same in all respects. But the question of sameness wears another face.

Granted, these animals do not have all the desires we humans have; granted, they do not comprehend everything we humans comprehend; nevertheless, we and they do have some of the same desires and do comprehend some of the same things.

The desires for food and water, shelter and companionship, freedom of movement and avoidance of pain? These desires are shared by nonhuman animals and human beings.

As for comprehension: like humans, many nonhuman animals understand the world in which they live and move. Otherwise, they could not survive.

So beneath the many differences, there is sameness.

Like us, these animals embody the mystery and wonder of consciousness.

Like us, they are not only in the world, they are aware of it.

Like us they are the psychological centres of a life that is uniquely their own.

In these fundamental respects humans stand “on all fours”, so to speak, with hogs and cows, chickens and turkeys.

What these animals are due from us, how we morally ought to treat them, are questions whose answer begins with the recognition of our psychological kinship with them.

Nobel Prize winner Isaac Bashevis Singer wrote in his bestselling novel Enemies, A Love Story’ the following:

“As often has Herman had witnessed the slaughter of animals and fish, he always had the same thought: in their behaviour toward creatures, all men were Nazis. The smugness with which man could do with other species as he pleased exemplified the most extreme racist theories, the principle that might is right”.

The comparison here to the holocaust is both intentional and obvious: one group of living beings anguishes beneath the hands of another.

Though some will argue the suffering of animals cannot possibly compare with that of former Jews or slaves, there is, in fact, a parallel.

And for the prisoners and victims of this mass murder, their holocaust is far from over.

In his book ‘The Outermost House’ author Henry Beston wrote: 

“We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals. Remote from universal nature, and living by complicated artifice, man in civilisation surveys the creatures through the glass of his knowledge and sees thereby a feather magnified and the whole image in distortion.

“We patronise them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man.

“In a world older and more complete than ours they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.

They are not brethren; they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth”.

Click here for a link to the film.

#Earthlings #Ahimsa #Peace #Liberation #Kindness

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Generosity the ultimate act of letting go - Dana paramita

We all tend to do things that are selfish and destructive, even persons walking a mindful path of awareness can get tripped up by desire. The current economic and political systems we’ve created reward those who are self-interested, trying to ‘better themselves’.

2020’s Covid-19 fallout has rocked the planet. Many people in positions of power have seen their wealth explode. We’ve witnessed panic buying, isolation and division, and disagreement over how we should be behaving.

The system is stretching its far-reaching tentacles - some media, marketing and advertising messaging designed to create feelings of separation and lack, intended to create consumers who driven by misery and loneliness seek satisfaction through buying things.

But we can resist. Though competition is rife and encouraged, though it drives much of our ideology, we can opt-out. We can take actions that benefit others, rather than seeing everyone else as a rival. We can care.

We get caught up in self-importance, self-protection and self-consciousness because of the stress we face from grasping. We generally grasp in four ways; when we don’t get what we want, when we get what we don’t want, when we try to protect what we have and we lose what we loved.

Generosity is the antidote to the tendency to grasp, it is the essence of letting go. When we can renounce and let go our ability to give generously will grow immeasurably. 

In Tibetan Buddhism generosity, Dana, is the first in a series of six paramitas or ‘perfections’. The word paramita can be translated as ‘crossing over to the other shore’. Through developing these noble qualities we travel from a shore of suffering, through misunderstanding, attachment and aversion, to a shore where we are liberated from this suffering, able to mindfully understand and be aware. 

The Buddha’s first training was the practice of giving. Practising generosity is the most basic way to experience freedom. Happiness, stability and ease grow through generous acts. 

Think for a moment about a time in which you were generous - how did you feel? Now consider a moment when you tried to protect or serve yourself - how was that experience? 

While some are building walls and trying to protect what they have, or make gains, others are doing a great deal of good with creative initiatives that benefit those in real need. 

Our smallest actions can make the biggest difference. 

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Separation and duality or connection and oneness?

So many of us are terrified of those different to ourselves, we get all bent out of shape when people change; because we expected them to remain as they were.

The suffering we all endure is rooted in misunderstanding, fear of losing what we have and fear of letting things we don’t like happen to us.

The more fixed our mindset is about the way we expect others to behave, and things to be done, the more prone we are to ignorance, attachment and aversion. The more we’ll drag ourselves down when our ideal conditions aren’t met, and we’ll take others down with us into the quagmire of complaint and discontent.

Each day we have an opportunity to see and do things differently, it doesn’t matter who we’ve been, where we’ve come from or what we’ve done before.

Each day we could wake up and ask ourselves, “am I going to embrace all situations and all people equally, am I going to cultivate the openness to accept and understand, or I am going to keep fighting against everything I dislike.”

Acceptance, understanding and happiness or grasping, ignorance and war?

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#poison #peace #kleshas #ignorance #attachment #aversion #love #happiness #stability #nonjudgement #xenophobia #yoga #separation #interdependence #impermenence

Prajñāpāramitā - perfection of wisdom

We’ve probably heard or used phrases like, “that’s just who they are, it’s their personality”. As if personality were some kind of fixed package of behavioural traits we were born with. What if we did the same for ourselves? “I’m British, French, American, Latino, Mediterranean, a man, a woman, tall, short; it’s just how we all behave”. 

It’s an easy trap to fall into and behavioural patterns can become deeply ingrained as we go through life. However, under close examination, it becomes apparent that our traits are not a set menu we will repeatedly act out during for our entire existence. We certainly adopt many traits from the people we spend time with; our parents, friends, social groups and even nations but we’re under no obligation to behave as others around us do. 

Awakening the understanding that all phenomena are in fact empty of any solidity or everlasting nature is the essence of Prajñāpāramitā, the ‘perfection of wisdom’ in Mahayana Buddhism. This emptiness or ‘sunyata’, doesn’t mean that nothing exists but that no ‘thing’ has any kind of fixed essence or unchanging self-nature. Looking deeply we see that in fact, everything in the universe is interdependent - things come together and things fall apart, again and again, and again.

A sign that we’re cultivating prajna (wisdom) and understanding is a decrease in the frequency of our afflictive emotions and misperceptions and the power they have over us. We become more able to respond positively to challenging or stressful situations and will feel more in control and peaceful. If we choose to we can certainly change our traits and the way we respond to what’s going on around us - in their book The Science of Meditation: How to Change Your Brain, Mind and Body, Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson explain how this happens. 

It takes effort and concentration but when it comes to the nature of our minds, like everything else, nothing is fixed or unchangeable.

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